for the last week or so. Trying to capture these snippets of thoughts and nail them down. You know how it is when you have a really fleeting thought that seems important somehow and you just can't get your fingers around them, like tendrils of smoke.
Sucks to be me.
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So almost a month goes by and I still feeling rather odd. I can't say exactly what's going on. I have a feeling of vagueness that I can't shake.
I've been having trouble sleeping, or I should say, trouble wanting to go to sleep. Truth to tell, it takes me about 20 seconds to fall asleep once I'm in bed. The problem I've been having is wanting to go to bed. It seems like there's just so much I want to do that sleep is irrelevant. 'Course I feel like shit in the morning.
Partly I think I'm feeling the pressure of time. As I get older, time just feels so much shorter. I suspect that I know the reason for this, but knowing why doesn't slow it down.
The way I look at it, we as people are "measuring animals". That is, we classify, prod, poke and take stock of our surroundings. We have invented time and we measure it. We also invented fractions and we all intuitively grasp that parts make the whole.
So what does this mean to our perception of passing time? I think the following: When you are 2 years old, a year is half your life. At 5, it's a fifth, and so on. Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation went on forever?
But as you get older, the fractions get smaller and the difference between them get even smaller. At 50, a year is a fiftieth of your life - a pretty small slice, indeed.
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